Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Pray for me

guys:

Tonight we found out that we were not selected to adopt the little boy that we were hoping for. I am lost right now because although we never meet him I feel that we were not given a fair chance, how can they make a determination of who would be a good parent by simply reading a file about us.

I have been praying that God would bring the right child into our family and I thought that this might be the one and part of me, the driven fighter does not want to just give up and say that it was Gods will and he will bring us another, I am not sure what I am to do and I am asking my brothers to pray for me because my heart hurts.

Dylan wants so much to have a brother or sister and we are doing all that we can. It is our job to make the effort but the result is in Gods hands, but what am I supposed to do, just accept this or do I push harder and fight for this child. If it is not Gods will for us to have him become part of our family why am I not at peice with this.

It is not a matter of pride or ego or a desire to win or a competitive spirit that is making me feel this way, I just dont feel this is right. Something in my spirit tells me that there is more to the story and I am not supposed to just take this lying down. Perhaps I am used to getting my own way and I dont know if that is what is upsetting me.

Peter

1 comment:

  1. I sense your angst. My belief is that we cannot have giving things to the Lord half way. I find myself trying to bargain with Him even though my lips are saying "Your will Lord". You KNOW, Peter, that God will tell you when to fight. There will be NO DOUBT as to His intention. Trust Him, brother. I love you...

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